


Carnations in the Sky

by YukiPyon



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Kiss Kiss Fall in Love, Loss of Virginity, Reader-Insert, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 09:11:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8322220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukiPyon/pseuds/YukiPyon
Summary: After Iwaizumi rejects you, a bored and lonely Oikawa tells you, "How about I let you pretend that I'm Iwa-chan? All you have to do is close your eyes." And so you play along.





	

During the winter of your senior year at Seijou, you decide to confess to him.

There is only one more week before the final term begins. You had enjoyed your winter break, spending your Christmas out at karaoke and terribly singing your heart out about how much you loved him. On New Years, you prayed that he would accept your feelings. The week in between, you spent an unhealthy amount of time on your gaming systems, playing dating sims in order to practice how to best convey how you felt (and you have probably practiced about a dozen times in front of your mirror). Your friends have been watching you with a grim smile and have started to push you to confess to him before both he and you graduate in a few months. 

And so you call him. It is particularly snowy today, and you notice how softly the snow falls as you stare out the window of the bookshop, dial tone humming in the background.

“Hello?”

Even though you had been waiting for his voice, you are still startled when he answers. Perhaps you had been wanting the dial tone to continue longer, to prolong the moment, to have more time to prepare. Your hands are shaking, and you could not deny the fact that you are nervous.

“Oh h-hi Iwaizumi-kun. Are you busy right now?” Your voice is trembling.

“Mmm...not really. Just babysitting. What’s up, ____-san?” In the background, you could hear Oikawa’s voice faintly yell that he is not a baby. You cover your mouth with your hands to stifle a laugh.  

“It looks like you’re with Oikawa. Maybe I can call you back?”

“It’s really no big deal. Did you need something?” Again, you could hear Oikawa in the background yell “HEY, RUDE!”

You couldn’t help but laugh this time. Iwaizumi laughs back, and in that moment you feel a warm air rush through your body. Your smile is temperate as you think _Crap, I really like him._

You breath in. When you exhale, it is long, slow, quiet. “Where are you right now?” you finally say.

“I’m walking Oikawa home. We’re about to pass the bookstore near school.”

The snow outside seems to cascade down at an alarmingly faster rate, and your heartbeat matches perfectly. _Shit_ , you think, as you force your feet to move toward the exit of the bookstore. Your face meets the burning cold air from outside, and you regret instantly that you did not dress warmer that day. In the pale scenery, his bright green jacket lights up and you could have sworn that he missed the memo that it is winter.

“Ah…” he says as he sees you and puts down his phone.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa walk up to you and you stare at them, lips quivering as your phone still hangs by your ear. _Shit._

“Oh, ___-chan! Were you waiting for us here? Or did you follow us?” Oikawa says in a joking voice as he takes a step closer to you. 

You blink twice, once out of realization and twice because a particularly large flake of snow fell on your eyelashes. You swallow and you feel your face turn pink.

“Shittykawa, stop.”

He is now standing directly in front of you. “So? Did you need something?” His voice is gentle and the smell of lemon shampoo fills your nose.

You couldn’t bear to bring your eyes up to meet his, so you look behind him instead and accidentally lock eyes with Oikawa. Oikawa raises an eyebrow. The eyes that were bright and sparkling just moments before are now soft and questioning. You quickly look away. For some reason, it makes you uncomfortable.

“Um...can I talk to you for a moment, Iwaizumi-kun? Just the two of us,” you manage.

Oikawa smiles and lets out a breath. “Ah...okay, I see. Iwa-chan, I’m going to head home first, text me later! Don’t make her cry! Remember to buy toothpaste! Store closes soon!” His voice grows faint as he walks off and becomes nothing but a speck in the white backdrop.  

Iwaizumi sighs and shakes his head, and you can hear him mumbling “fucker” underneath his breath. He turns to look at you, and you both stare at each other for a moment. You feel the silence growing cold. 

“Well, you have my full attention,” he finally says.

Your heart is beating so fast that you swear that he and every single customer behind the closed doors of the bookstore could hear it. _Relax_ , you think, _it’s just like the games. You only have to say three words. It takes one second. And then…_

And then what? Your heart stops as you realize that you had been so busy preparing for the actual confession that you didn’t take the time to think about what might come after. What would you do if he said he didn’t like you? And what if he did like you? What were proper responses for each situation? And before you knew it--

“___-san?” 

You look up at him. Your mind is in five different places and you have to dig to find the words. _Like you I? You like I? I--_  

“I like you.” The words felt like liquid chalk in your mouth and you immediately hold your breath, waiting for the “and then." 

He doesn't take his eyes off of you. He doesn't flinch. A few seconds past before he drops the hands that were holding onto the straps of his backpack to his side.

“___-san, I...you...you’re a great friend and I want us to always be friends. It’s just right now, I already have someone who I’m seeing...” he trails off and looks away.

You feel something awful burn inside you and you forgot that this was also another possibility. _Ah_ , you think, _so this is the “and then.”_ You have never hated something so much in your life, or felt something so gut-wrenching and disgusting. Your insides feel like lava and your stomach starts to turn. You swear you could throw up in that very moment. 

“Is-is that so...I’m so sorry.” Was that even your own voice? It sounds so weak.

 He looks back at you and raises his voice. “Don’t ever apologize for your feelings! I’m actually very happy that you were honest with me, so thank you…”

He puts a hand on your shoulder and you are reminded that this moment is very real.

“Let’s stay good friends, okay? I still want to hear your voice cheering for us from the stands and see that stupid face you always make when we score!” he laughs. You are not sure if he’s forcing the situation or if he is genuinely trying to cheer you up. The only thing you are sure about is that if he doesn’t take his hands off of your shoulder within the next second, that you would cry.

As if God took pity on you after the bitter rejection, Iwaizumi takes back his hands. All you can do is nod, and you aren’t even sure if there is a smile on your face. Everything feels desensitized. 

“Sorry, I gotta go, store's closing soon and I really need that toothpaste. Will I see you at the next game?” he says. Again, you nod.

“Alright! Well, get home safe, ____-san.” 

You aren’t too sure when he walked off, leaving you all alone in front of the bookstore. You aren’t too sure how long you stood there, but about six different people have walked in and out of the door and one of them almost bumps into you. Your vision becomes blurry and you wipe your eyes.

“Stupid snow,” you mumble as you continue to wipe your eyes with the back of your sleeves, “find some other place to fall other than on my face…”

But you know better that what is stinging your face isn’t the snow. And in that moment you realize how much you hate winter, and how January is the cruelest month of them all.

\--------------------------

Weeks have past since the start of the new term. It’s still unbearingly cold. You and he have not talked much since that time, but you still attend his games and say good morning before class.

Nothing has changed. You still love him. You still stare at the back of his head in class and hope that your teacher doesn’t catch you doing it, again. You think you still make those stupid excited faces when Seijou scores, you aren’t sure unless you have a mirror in front of you at each game. You pretend like that confession never happened, because when you think about it you are reminded that he does not love you. So you continue and you smile and laugh with your friends about dating sim games and continue to choose the sappiest love songs at karaoke. 

“___-chan! What are you doing after school today?” you hear as you begin packing your books away, ready for the day to be over. You don’t have to turn around to know who it is, because this has been happening since the new term began.

Nothing has changed, except for one little thing - Oikawa has been increasingly nice to you lately. You don’t even have to think about why. Surely whatever happened that one snowy day has reached his ears, and you brush him off because you are sure that whatever it is that he’s doing, he’s doing so because he feels sorry for you. When you don’t answer, he walks directly in front of your desk and squats down to meet your eye level.

“Hey ____-chan! I asked you a question~”

You shove the last of your books into your bag as you stand up. “I’m going home.” 

He stands up after you. “Perfect! I’m going home too, let’s go home together!~” You quickly shoot back a “no” as you walk out of the classroom, but to your annoyance he’s already one step behind you. You thought you had been rather quick, too.

“Even if you say no, I’m still heading in that direction so you can either have me awkwardly walk two feet behind you or let me walk next to you. The choice is yours!” He smiles as though he had just won a game of thumb war and you wonder if he’s actually a child.

For the past weeks, Oikawa either had practice after school or had plans with Iwaizumi, so he had never gotten to the point of actually walking home with you no matter how many times he said he was. 

“Don’t you have practice today?”

“Nope!”

“What about Iwaizumi-kun?”

Oikawa stops walking and looks away nervously. “Ahaha...actually he’s with…” he trails off. You realize what he’s about to say and you begin to walk faster. Your stomach jumps and you feel your heart stop for a moment. Oikawa tails behind you and doesn’t say a word, and you wonder if he regrets his unfinished statement.

You are so lost in your grim thoughts of self-pity and loathing that you don’t realize Oikawa walking next to you until you are almost at the train station and you hear him exclaim “Ah!” Startled, you turn and see him pointing to a stand selling waffles. He runs off in the direction, and you know that in that moment you could have walked away and left him there. But you are amused, and you stare at him as he comes back with two paper plates.

“These waffles are really good! They always cheer me up when I’m sad,” he says as he hands one of the plates to you. You look down and see mountains of whipped cream and strawberries and you wonder if there’s actually a waffle underneath all of the sugar. Just the smell made your teeth hurt.

You look back at Oikawa. “Why are you doing this?”

He’s already two bites into his waffle when you ask your question and you can’t help but bite your lip to stop a smile because he really does seem like a child.

After a large swallow, he replies, “Because I told Iwa-chan to not make you cry that day and he made you cry. No one should make a girl cry, not even Iwa-chan.”

He walks up to a bench and brushes a small mountain of snow off of it. When he sits down, his face scrunches up. “Ahh! Cold.” He pats the spot next to him and snow flings into his waffle as he does so. “Come sit! It’s not good to eat and walk so we can go home after we’re done.”

You walk up to him but stand in front of him instead. Sitting on a damp bench does not seem too warm at the moment, especially since you are wearing a skirt. 

You still haven’t touched your waffle yet. “How did you know I cried?”

He shrugs as he takes another bite. “Gut feeling, I guess.” 

“Well you can stop doing this because I don’t feel bad anymore. He rejected me and I’ve moved on.” _Liar,_ you think. You still love him.

“You’re a bad liar, ____-chan,” Oikawa says as though he could read your mind. “If you didn’t like him anymore, you wouldn’t be staring at him in class all of the time.”

Your face flushes and you realize you have been caught. “H-how do you even know that…”

Again, Oikawa shrugs as he shoves the last of his waffle into his mouth. He crushes the paper plate between his hands and looks at the ground. The two of you do not say anything for what seems like minutes. 

“Hey, ____-chan…”

You look him in the eye as acknowledgement for him to continue. A smile forms on his lips, but it is anything but a pleasant smile. It is humorless and solemn, and a chill shoots through your spine. You wrap your coat closer around you. 

“I can tell you about her, if you’d like.”

He stands up and looks down at you. His form is so much bigger and you feel small and vulnerable. You feel like he could knock you over just by gently blowing on you. You take a step back.

“Um...I don’t want to know, but thank you…”

Every step you take back, he takes forward and you are eventually backed up against the side of a CD store, away from the main street. Here, hardly anyone can see the two of you. Oikawa’s eyes glaze over and are much more somber and dour, and you drop your plate of waffles to the ground. He doesn’t seem to notice as he never takes his eyes off of you.

“She’s small...very cute...and has doll-like eyes.” He reaches his hand up to touch your face, but you slap it away. “She’s nice and doesn’t get aggravated easily.” He tries to touch your hair but you grab his hand and glare at him, your eyebrows furrowing and your teeth clenching. “Her hair is fluffy and her lips are super pink.” Your grasp on his hand tightens, but he doesn’t flinch.

“And…” he smirks before continuing, “...she’s not very innocent. Iwa-chan tells me about it, the things that they do and she seems like a lot of fun behind closed doors. He’s so lucky.”

The world feels like it fell, crashing like old discarded glass in front of you. You slowly let go of his hand and your eyes widen. _Iwaizumi...having sex…?_ That was a world you have never crossed into, one that you know nothing about. How could you beat that? Was she his first? Was he hers? An overwhelming sense of envy and disgust begin to flow through you. They share something that you could only imagine. You feel as though you have lost the battle you never knew you had even engaged in, and your eyes begin to cloud over.

“Oh my...now look who’s making a girl cry. I went overboard, sorry,” Oikawa says as he wipes a tear that had formed at the corner of your eyes. This time you don’t bother to slap his hand away.

“My my...what should we do about this?” Oikawa wonders aloud, and for some reason his voice does not sound apologetic at all. It sounds frightening, dubious.

He lifts your chin up and stares at you for a moment. “Hey...as an apology to you, how about I let you pretend that I’m Iwa-chan?” 

You blink and a tear falls. “Wha…?”

He grins. “Exactly what it sounds like. Pretend that I’m Iwa-chan.”

And suddenly the world becomes dark. You are confused for a moment but realize that there is a force pushing against you. Oikawa’s hand is covering your eyes, and you feel something soft press against your lips.

As fast as it happened, you are able to see again and your lips are freed. You stare wide-eyed at Oikawa, who is still wearing that unscrupulous grin on his face. 

“So? Just close your eyes and pretend that you are kissing Iwa-chan. That’s all there is to it,” he says.

Your eyes are half closed as tears continue to form. You look down at the ground, away from him. “Why are you doing this…” 

You expect him to shrug again, but instead he says, “Because I’m lonely and bored. Iwa-chan shouldn’t be the only one having fun.”

Surprised, you look at him and see that his expression has become desolate. And you realize that he isn’t joking. He looks back at you and smiles, but this time his smile is pensive, not foul like it was moments before. You feel a lump in your throat .

What should you do? Here are two lonely kids, one heartbroken, one bored. You don’t have any feelings for Oikawa, and he does not have any feelings for you. At best you could say that you two are classmates and you are a fan of his volleyball and he asks you for homework help, sometimes. But beyond that there really is nothing between you two. After all, you love Iwaizumi, and Oikawa is nothing more than Iwaizumi’s best friend.

Your heart trembles in pain as Iwaizumi flashes in your mind. Then the image of the girl, just as Oikawa had described her. Doll-like eyes, fluffy hair. And then the image of the two, embraced and intertwined and oh God you can’t help it but a small cry escapes your mouth. Your eyes are burning again and almost instinctively, you reach up and grab Oikawa’s face. Shutting your eyes tight, you bring his lips down to yours with a force you never knew you had.

_Please, please…_

You need to burn that image out of your head. You feel a pair of hands entangled in your hair and you see Iwaizumi’s strong hands. The hands pull your head closer and you feel a tongue enter your mouth. Passionate. Warm. Against it, you are able to gasp out, “Iwaizumi-kun…”

You feel a smile against your lips. “Good girl…” someone whispers, and you shudder as you imagine Iwaizumi’s voice. 

And you kiss him back, a kiss that tastes like whipped cream and strawberries.  


**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is the first time I have written in what I want to say 7 years (yes I am an old soul). I'm excited to write the next part...ehuehue...so off I go ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ


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